A state of intense emotional, bodily, and mental tiredness is referred to as burnout. Those that are impacted have trouble concentrating and make a lot of blunders. Some also lose the energy for their private life. Burnout is usually attributed to excessive demands and stress at work. But the causes are varied. Here you can find out
- How to overcome motherhood burnout
- How to get more energy as a mom
- How to stop being overwhelmed
- How to deal with overwhelmed mother
- Why moms are stressed out and what to do
Even people who normally cope well with problems can develop burnout when they are under a lot of stress. The good news is that you are not helplessly at the mercy of this process, and you can contribute to burnout prevention yourself. The solutions listed below can assist you with this:
- Be aware of your own needs: Try to be aware of your wants and needs. What is really important to you? Social recognition, opportunities for advancement, freedom in designing work processes or opportunities to influence. Allow yourself that your needs are just as important as those of those around you.
- Uncovering basic needs: Burnout arises from frustration. Look for tasks in which your individual basic needs are satisfied. Creativity, for example, reputation, diverse social contact or movement, for example. When choosing a job, it is therefore important that you know exactly what everyday life in the desired profession is like.
- Define clear life goals: Find out which goals are really important to you in life. So you can use your energy in a targeted manner. Also, try to let go of ideas that others have instilled in you. This is the only way to avoid getting bogged down in exhausting projects that ultimately don’t satisfy you.
- Strengthening of self-acceptance: People who derive their self-confidence primarily from a role in their professional or private life are particularly susceptible to burnout: the perfect mother or the successful manager. People with strong self-acceptance also have a sense of self that is independent of success. This lowers the possibility of over committing and feeling exploited.
- Healthy lifestyle: A healthy lifestyle can also prevent burnout. This includes a balanced diet, but above all regular sport and plenty of exercise – this helps to reduce stress. Limit the consumption of stimulants (e.g. nicotine, caffeine) or stimulants (e.g. alcohol, sugar). Not only will this make you feel fitter, it may also push you less hard without the chemical boosters.
- Seeking help: It is often not so easy to put good intentions into practice. If you notice an increased stress level or typical symptoms of burnout over a longer period of time, you should definitely consult a doctor, psychotherapist or psychiatrist. The sooner you notice burnout, the higher your chances of recovery.
HOW TO OVERCOME MOTHERHOOD BURNOUT
If you as a mother are affected by burnout, there are strategies and ways to get back to well-being and strength. Let’s take a closer look at these now.
Your path to self-determination: It is important that it is about what you want to do. Try activating your personal resources. Completely self-determined. What do you want to do? What have you always wanted to do again? Start with 15 minutes or half an hour and give yourself a few minutes of self-determination a day.
Learn to recognize and let go of your needs: of course, as a mother, it often feels like we have to put our needs before those of the children. The value of caring grows and we are immersed in caring for children. But every value has two sides. So, caring is also about self-care. You may be asking yourself: How can I integrate more self-care into everyday life? This can also include letting go. Learn to prioritize and hand in your tasks. And most importantly, try to acknowledge that you’re always doing your best! Take the pressure off yourself of always having to do everything perfectly.
Take a deep breath: Stress really messes up our body. When stress levels rise, so does our stress hormone balance. Cortisol is released and causes all kinds of problems in our body in the long term. For example, the immune system is negatively affected and mental illness becomes more likely. But there are simple tricks to build a bridge between our thoughts and our body and to have a direct influence on our nervous system. Sounds magical? Is it a bit. With targeted breathing exercises, you calm your nervous system and your thoughts at the same time, lower your cortisol levels and calm down. You can find some ideas for breathing exercises in our article: Breathing exercises for panic attacks.
Psychological emergency aid for burnout: whether you’re a mother, single parent, housewife, or career woman who feels like you’re suffering from burnout, it’s a good idea to seek support. Because you don’t have to go through it alone! The sooner we seek help for mental health problems, the better. That’s not a sign of weakness – facing your inner demons and seeking help when you need it is a real strength!
HOW TO GET MORE ENERGY AS A MOM
As a working mom, you know all too well how to juggle all the balls at the same time. And last year you perfected it through Corona. The burdens that families – especially those with working parents – have been bearing for more than a year are extreme. A constant effort, we are broken and exhausted. And with the constant juggling, the demands from all sides, our own demands, the lack of time, the uncertainties, there is hardly any time and energy left for the things that we would otherwise recharge our batteries with.
On the one hand there are the extreme challenges and strains as well as the lack of recovery. On the other hand, as a coach, girlfriend and mom, I notice the following more and more: Self-criticism is increasing & I hear justifications everywhere. That’s why I want to give you inspiration today on how you can do something good for yourself with a few small steps in thinking and acting and thus make a big difference in your well-being.
Stop criticizing yourself No more: “You should have done that today!” or “You didn’t do the job well enough.” Or “I scolded my children too loudly” or any other self-criticism. Keep in mind how much you can achieve under these conditions and what you achieve. You are welcome to tell your inner critical voice to take a break from time to time. And yes, it’s ok to be exhausted!
Stop justifying yourself: No, you don’t have to justify that your child has a place in emergency care or that you take them to daycare. And no, that’s not “deportation” either. And no, homeschooling isn’t just done on the side either. And no, children can’t always understand a “do not disturb” message. Even if this is constantly suggested to us parents. And these emotions have to get out of you. They must be named.
Draw attention to what you have achieved: The days are just too short right now. Despite full commitment, there are still mountains that have not been conquered. Consciously draw attention to what you have achieved today: to the many tasks that you have completed. For the joy you brought to others. The attention you have given to other people. To the love you gave to your children.
HOW TO STOP BEING OVERWHELMED
No wonder you are sometimes overwhelmed as a mother.
On top of that, common expectations of being a mother are very unrealistic: a mother should be relaxed and happy, no matter how challenging she is. She should enjoy all the tasks, no matter what her preferences were before. Many do not expect to be sad and cry more after childbirth than at any other time in their lives. Not being allowed to feel certain feelings and having to feel others – such as great joy – are psychologically very stressful. And labeling care work as “holiday” and “not working” leads to the wrong expectation can increase self-doubt and makes it difficult to feel seen and taken seriously when faced with the challenge.
- Acknowledge the challenge
- Accept and listen to difficult feelings
- Take needs seriously and be self-care
- Lower expectations
- Reconsider values
HOW TO DEAL WITH OVERWHELMED MOTHER
Getting to know this new creature better, its behavior, its personality can be stressful, and that although you were so happy, so happy when it was born. Some days, the heavy responsibilities and daily housework don’t leave you room to enjoy your baby or to relax a little yourself.
But between the sixth and eighth week of your baby’s life, you will slowly gain confidence and a certain routine will set in. However, if you find this initial phase very strenuous, here are a few tips:
- Look for relaxation: some days with a baby seem endless. It is worthwhile to consciously take steps that provide variety. Plan a short walk every day, whatever the weather, to avoid cabin fever. If your baby is crying, put it in the stroller and take your darling for a walk.
- Be aware of your food: while it may seem totally tempting to reach for candy or munchies when you’re feeling exhausted – don’t do it. With a healthy diet, you can recover sustainably from the birth and fill up your energy reserves.
- Take it easy: don’t ask too much of yourself just yet. When the mountain of laundry grows and the dishwasher hasn’t been emptied yet – that can wait. The only important thing at the beginning of your motherhood is the time you spend with your baby.
- Find like-minded people: if it’s your first baby, you may feel lonely and cut off from your old world at times. It is quite possible that your partner feels the same way, although there are some ways to keep old friendships alive.
- Accept Help: Accept any help that is offered to you, if your mother wants to do the shopping for you and your girlfriend offers ironing help – don’t be shy, say YES. All these offers represent a help for you and do not testify to your weakness. If you have visitors, do not offer tea, but ask them to make tea for you. However, if help is not forthcoming, then read our tips on how to get help.
WHY MOMS ARE STRESSED OUT AND WHAT TO DO
A rush doesn’t feel good. Hectic is harmful. The expression “stress hits the stomach” is certainly accurate. The effects of a stressful everyday life are already noticeable in childhood. On average, once a month the pediatrician Piero Bianchi, who is based in Aarau, has a child in his practice who complains of abdominal pain. Without a medical reason. “Again and again, with specific questions and an open ear, stress and excessive demands can be found as reasons for such somatic complaints,” says the pediatrician, “it can range from occasional stomach ache to complete refusal to go to school.” It often helps to talk to the parents about it and to prescribe more rest. In serious cases, Piero Bianchi recommends parenting advice or refers to a child psychologist.
What to do when stressed out?
Whether family, babysitter, “rental grandma”, family helper, household help, welcome … – asks and demands help and support. It’s often difficult if you want to keep up the “good appearance”. But this remains good above all if you are honest. It’s not a weakness to admit that you can’t do it without support. And especially when you have nerves of steel and those around you have to suffer, in the worst case the children.
As a counterpoint to stress, relaxation is incredibly important. Here, too, it can simply be a hot bath, or yoga, PME, mediation, a good book, keeping a “happiness diary”…
Sport might not sound like the right thing at first when you’re under a lot of stress, don’t have a lot of time and really just long for some rest. But sport is a very good way to deal better with negative stress.
Many mums are lonely. Yes, it really is. Especially after the birth of their first child, many women feel alone, maybe even socially isolated to some degree. Then there is permanent tension and exhaustion, the mess. You feel alone, left alone. However, exchange is also incredibly important, to be able to share your worries with other people. Listening to each other, and maybe even supporting each other. In my article exchange with like-minded people, you will find a few ideas on how to get in touch with other moms.
What we moms actually don’t get enough of is very important to recharge our batteries. It’s easy to say, but try to ignore the household chores and don’t go to bed until midnight. Lay down with the little ones for an afternoon nap, or consciously treat yourself to a babysitter to sleep late or through the night.
Is the be-all and end-all good planning and to-do lists can help to better organize everyday family life. Weekly shopping based on a menu, for example. But a well-planned everyday life is not a good option for everyone to reduce stress. To-do lists also might help to keep organized. Keep reading the 10 Laundry Hacks As a Busy Mom Can’t Live Without to help every mom in her daily life structure. There are many mothers who feel the need of less stress in her life. Always have a look what’s good for you.